Comeback Time...

I was reading this article on Whitney Houston this morning in the LA Times and I realized that everyone goes through a tough time in their life. The only difference is that celebrities have to do it with the entire world watching where we do it with just friends and family watching. I absolutely love Whitney Houston and part of me could relate with what she was going through in her marriage. However, when we are in the middle of chaos, we can't see it. And then when we do, we wonder "how did I get here? and how am I going to turn things around?". In a way, we all have "comebacks" in our lives, they're just not as public as the celebrities.

I guess Create your own...Journey is my "comeback". I was knocked around by life for two years when my son was born unexpectedly at 29 weeks and spent the first 6 months of his life in a hospital NICU. Talk about all your hopes & dreams of bringing your newborn baby home and your life being like it is is the magazine just vanishing... day by day... and you start to wonder will your life ever get back to normal??? Actually, you start to wonder what the hell is normal??? because you lose that concept when the doctors tell you that your son may not make it out of surgery that day...

So here I sit today, blessed that my son's alive and my marriage is still in tact after 2 years of chaos. Ready for my comeback...

Reading that article this morning gave me a new way to think about my journey. It's my journey back... my comeback!
Now all I need is a promo video like Whitney :-)

Leaving it all Behind

I was in Laguna Beach Wed, Thurs & Friday and it was a wonderful trip with beautiful weather. I couldn't have asked for better weather or a better whale watching trip. Very relaxing... but I realized as the Hotel Bellman left the room with our luggage, the reason for the trip was what I did as I looked around the hotel room before I left. I said, "It's over. I'm leaving everything here and moving on." All my baggage stayed in that hotel room on Friday morning...my fears, my doubts, my insecurities. They were all left behind. On the way home, I stopped at the Wyland Gallery and found inspiration. My newly created life will be about ME and me only. What I love, what I stand for, what I want to create for myself, my family and the imprint I want to leave in the world. As women we learn not to promote ourselves. Not to bask in the glory of all that we are and who we've become. I will no longer fall into that category. I am embracing who I am and who God made me to be and I'm going to share that with the world. I'm finally leaving IT all behind and moving forward!

Discipline

Today I learned about discipline while walking on the beach. I realized that I haven't done any of the things I promised myself that I would do. I don't get up and walk every morning. I do not exercise. I do not keep a schedule for Momma Wear. I do not take Dylan to the park everyday. I lack discipline. My past experience tells me that in order for me to succeed, I must have discipline and do the things I promise myself that I will do. If I do my part, then God will do the rest. But I haven't been doing my part and I feel like my life and my business are falling apart right now. I turn 40 tomorrow and instead of celebrating the new me like I had hoped, I'm celebrating the old me. Same habits, same lifestyle same ole thing!
Today I remembered that change starts with me...

Just one of those days...

Remember the song by Monica (I think), "Just one of those days, that a girl goes through when she's angry inside...." That pretty much sums up my WEEK! I just can't seem to get back in balance. Everything is off and everything pretty much sucks. I'm just angry! My son was supposed to get his hearing aids on Monday and that didn't happen so I think that set the tone. I just starting crying and having a pity party.
So, it's time to Renew, get off the pity party wagon and get back in balance! First things 1st, I need to resume my morning walks. It's so easy to say, but so hard to do when you feel like that world is stacked up against you. When you just don't feel like getting out of bed and being a positive force in the world. I've been telling myself that it's okay to feel this way but I guess you can only do that for so long before you start feeling unproductive. So I'm going to work on getting back on track. Because on these days I don't feel like working my business which means I don't get paid and I need money!
So step one to getting back on track:
Take time out for me in the morning. Walk, yoga, breathing on the beach. Start the day with something I enjoy that's just for me. I have to wake up before my 2 yr old which means I might have to do this at 5am on some mornings. But regardless, I must do this and establish a routine because if I don't I know the day will go to HELL and I will not be productive. Doing this in the morning will allow me to have my ME time and set the tone for the day.
Tomorrow...I'm starting the new routine...

My Life...

I'm starting this blog for ME...
I am a mom of a 2yr old and owner of my own business. However, I feel the need to journal my thoughts and my insights into my life as I have realized from other moms and women that my struggles just don't apply to me. Everyone...all of us are dealing with the same things.

My son was born when I was 29 weeks pregnant and my family spent the 1st 6 months of his life in the hospital. This event changed my life...it changed our lives forever. Being the mom of a child with "special needs" (society's label) was not what I envisioned for motherhood but it's the wonderful life that I am living.

The picture I posted today, reflects me and the beauty I see in the world every day. I love the ocean, I love the beach and I love palm trees.

This is MY journey...the good and the bad for the world to see. If you are reading my blog and I write something that offends you, I apologize now. I will not do that every time. I will refer you to this 1st post for my apology. These are my thoughts and my journey, they may change, they may not, but they are mine.
Welcome to my journey and welcome to my life...